Saturday, January 28, 2006

Floating in the Ether


I recently attended the funeral of my last living close blood relative. I have one cousin I have not seen for 45 years, and one in parts unknown, but that is pretty much it. I am divorced and have no children. I find myself in the unique position of being entirely alone. I am blessed with friends, and I do not discount that, but it is something to be relation-less. I am not sure what , but something. Recently it struck me that I now have no one who knows my story from beginning to end. No parents, no siblings, no aunts, no uncles. My story is now exclusively my own from end to end. It and I seem to be floating free, unmoored, unattached. At some point that may feel invigorating, although at present I cannot imagine that. It strikes me that part of the value of family is that they carry, accurately or not, our full story. They are our personal historians, and we theirs. I have begun a blog to tell my story to the ether that now fills the place where the sense of having blood relatives used to be.

1 Comments:

Blogger Jayne said...

And tell it you shall, dear one. Shout to the heavens, think till you can't think any longer, write it all out here and know that your story matters, and always will, even if there is no one to narratively give it to others face to face. Your imprint is on hearts all over this country. Know that YOU matter and I am so proud of you for taking this wonderful, cathartic step! Much love and many hugs!

9:35 PM  

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