Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Gay Marriage

Occasionally I have to remind myself that my friends John and Mark are gay. I just think of them as a married couple. John and his husband, Mark. Mark and his husband, John. I was the "Best M'am" for my friend John nine years ago at a beautiful wedding ceremony in May in a very posh outdoor Manhattan venue. The celebrant was a maverick Baptist minister who performed this sacred ceremony which was not recognized by state law.

Outside of its impeccable beauty and care for detail, it wasn't any different from any other wedding in that the partners were dressed beautifully, love was in the air, people were delighted to be part of this event and there was a palpable sense of the holy. We all cried when they took their vows -- these are two men who are deeply loved by their friends, so we wept from the joy of their joining.

They have a very good marriage, one in which they take each other very seriously, are deeply devoted to eachother and respectful of the other's individuality. They are a pleasure to be with. They are among the best-matched married couples I know.

So I read the news about all this foul flapping about banning gay marriage and I think of John and Mark, who, though not state-sanctioned, have a marriage that could be a model to straight couples for fidelity and caring and mutual love and respect. THIS is what the government is afraid of? That two people of the same sex vow to love and care for each other? THIS is so scary? Yes, it is that love that the government sees as deplorable.

These guys have no "agenda" -- they are not trying to undermine anything. They are not anti-traditionalist. In fact their marriage is quite traditional in that it is founded on old-fashioned values. They are committed for life. It is not up for grabs. They will see each other through whatever needs to be seen through.

Now, will the government kindly leave them alone? It is not as though there are no more pressing items for our government to deal with.


Blogger The Harbour of Ourselves said...

amen, both church and state have hyjacked this issue and its become somewhat polarised.

i agree, with someone dying of extreme stupid poverty every 3 seconds (caused by foreign policy, IMF, WTO rules), yes there are more important issues to deal with

4:18 AM  
Blogger mister tumnus said...

church and state.

sometimes i think that in years to come our children and their children will look back at all this fuss over gay people with incredulity.

i once taught a class of 15 year olds who (it transpired) had never heard of apartheid in south africa and sat open-mouthed as i tried to explain. it was utterly amazing to them that such a thing could have occured.

i work in an integrated school in northern ireland and most of the students are just as aghast when i tell them that i didn't meet a peer who was catholic until i was about 18 and had left segregated education. it truly is something that, thankfully, many of them can't begin to imagine, such is their experience which began after the possibility of reconnection had occured.

and yet most schools in our country are still segregated. most school children are having the same (lack of) experience that i had.

but times are a changin'.... we live in hope...

8:05 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is an emotionally charged and religiously polarizing issue in our country and that is exactly what our present administration wants at this juncture in history. Anything that will remove the public's attention from what is most important and really happening.


12:45 PM  

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