House Hunting and Circuses

I have been a busy gal. The local realtor in Mass. has given me access to the computer Multiple Listing Service (MLS) for properties within my geographic and price preferences. This means that whenever I want I can access a site that has full descriptions and pictures of houses that might meet my needs, and I can delete any that do not -- thereby keeping a kind of "running interest list" that I can return to over and again and obsess about. I have already made mincemeat of my first list. I went to Massachusetts and did a 'drive-by' for about 10 places and ruled out most on the list. It seems that when a real estate agent is photographing a property, they do not photograph any 'warts'.

For example, there was a charming converted country brick schoolhouse, tons of floorspace, open plan, great views, added second floor, fenced yard, fireplace, solar assisted heat, hardwood floors -- dreamy by all estimates. Of course the exterior photo failed to show an abandoned mill factory on the immediate left and rundown -- almost slum-like -- old mill houses on the immediate right. And, the place was almost ON the noisy road with very little frontage lawn.

Or the home that looked lovely from the outside, but inside was dark and dreary even though the day was sunny and bright. It just felt depressing and dreary.

So it is an adventure, and a new one for me as a first time home-owner-to-be. My new list of places to check out is ample enough now to mean a few more 'drive-by' sessions are in order. And I have called the realtor to schedule some in-home look-sees.

This entire process is almost dream-like. I find myself envisioning the kind of life I want, and looking for a home to wrap around it. There is a sense of unreality and a sense of hightened reality all at the same time.

I find that I am absolute in wanting a dining room. There is an urge to entertain dinner guests more often - to have that wider "tribal" sense possible in my new home - and I find I am absolute about wanting 3 bedrooms -- one for me, one for an office and one for guests. This house is already destined in my head to be full of people coming and going --- which suits me wonderfully, and which is what I miss in my current space. I also yearn for an eat-in cozy kitchen so that friends can stop by for coffee on their way here or there. It is a small New England town, where that kind of life is actual.

And of course a fenced yard for the inevitable pooch is a must.

I am having to find the courage to imagine my life and live my way toward it. But, I haven't been praying much about it -- almost like being a tiny child having some secret project that you do not want to show Mommy until it is well-along. What a doofus I am. My guess is He has already figured me out -- ya think?

In fact, it sometimes feels that I am in His Divine Circus -- "Watch The Lady Shot From the Holy Cannon" -- about to be flung into my own future. "Step Right Up. Getcher Tickets Here!"