Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Right On The Mouth

If a bud blooms, gather it, Lest you but wait for an empty bough.
Chinese saying

In the days before email, I once owed my friend Becca, who was living far away in Hawaii, a letter. I kept putting it off, thinking I would get to it soon. She died of cancer that I didn't know she had before I answered her letter. I have never forgotten what it felt like to know that she died with me owing her a letter. That I missed that last chance to tell her how much she mattered to me -- and for no good reason except my own inattention.

Life is so unexpectedly fragile. We learn this through loss, or through our own bouts with illness. Life can wink out in the moment it takes to draw a last breath. But that is the truth of things anyway every day, in every circumstance. But we seem to only feel this when we have been forced to face it.

But what I want to say is beyond Becca -- because there are piles and piles of things that matter enormously to all of us that are undone, unacted upon, waiting.....

What keeps us from living deeply into the corners of our lives, from doing what we truly want most and value most in life? What feeds this illusion that we have forever to do this or to say that? What keeps us from kissing life right on the mouth?


Anonymous Pat Z. said...

Mata, I know what you mean, I had a dear friend die of cancer and kept remembering the times she had called and wanted us to go some place, but I was too busy, now I just wish I had dropped everything and went along out. It taught me a lesson, now if someone calls, I do drop everything and go along. Life is too short! Love and prayers, Pat

5:21 PM  

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