Monday, October 09, 2006

Columbus Day

Columbus: Hi. White European guy here. We're moving in. Have some beads.

Native American : We welcome you to visit our home.

Columbus: Yeah right. It's mine now. Nice looking daughter.

Native American: Pardon me, but we live here.

Columbus: No, you can't. I just discovered this. It's mine. 1492 I am just off the Ocean Blue. You are now my slaves, and part of Spain. Got any gold? Oh, and get used to this. There are French, Portuguese and English guys right behind me. I'm snatching all you guys up for Spain, but there's going to be a nasty little land grab soon for all you Japanese and Chinese.

Native American: We're not Japanese and Chinese.

Columbus. Shut up. Got any gold? Oh, by the way, you are Christian now.

Native American: I think we'd like you to leave now. And what is Christian?

Columbus: The monks will explain later. Fat chance on our ever leaving. Oh, and by the way, I'll take a quick trip back to Spain, but I am kidnapping a few hundred of you for show and tell back there. I'll be back, and then we'll get to the serious colonization.

Native American: Please, do not return.

Columbus: This is commerce, baby. Industry. A chance for me to get rich quick. Not only am I never leaving for good, I plan to treat you all like dirt, steal whatever you have of value and impose tyrannical and despotic rule over you all.

Native American: No one will respect you.

Columbus: (laughing) Respect? They'll name whole streets and cities after me -- erect statues -- have parades -- a whole country will take a day off once a year in my honor.

Native American: You are dillusional.

Columbus: No, I'm just a rich white European guy with a lot of guns. Got any gold?


Blogger samtzmom said...

The truth sometimes hurts... oh, but that we'd learn from our mistakes.

6:57 AM  
Blogger beth said...

A wonderful post; funny. Painfully so.

Happy Rich White European Day.

9:43 AM  
Blogger The Harbour of Ourselves said...

funny how your and my country are still doing the very same thing......


2:51 PM  

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