Laughing at "Territory Marking"
I spoke to a friend in rural Arizona last night, which did my heart good. This is a friend I have known since I was 12, with whom ready laughter is commonplace. He is, however, a very reserved fellow on the surface. For those of you who need a laugh, here is a moment in the phone call that had me howling.
He: (in discussing a friend's new ranch property) There have been sightings of wolves, cougars, foxes and of course rattlesnakes. The chickens seem to be safe, however.
Me: Does she have them in an enclosure with a roof?
He: No.
Me: Well what is keeping the big critters from just snatching them up?
He: Territory marking.
Me: You mean fences?
He: No, I mean "markings" -- like with dogs who "mark" their territory.
Me: But her dog weighs all of 3 pounds! There is no way he could....
He: He didn't.
(long silence)
Me: Are you suggesting that YOU did?
He: Well, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. Walking around the desert alone at night is something I enjoy. May as well make it useful.
OK so now I have this visual of a childhood friend that is not what I had ever imagined. Man walking the desert asserting himself.
I decided to counter.
Me: Well, that is a great idea. Next time I visit her I'll mark a few trees for her.
He: But....you can't....not a tree. (smug silence)
Me: Sure I can. I have a "thing".
(HUGE PAUSE)
He: (sounding very puzzled and unsure) .....a "thing"?
Me: Yep. I have something I ordered on the web from Europe.
He: I don't think I should know this.
Me: It is called "The Whiz".
He: I am getting sure I should not know this.
Me: No, no..relax..just imagine a flexible funnel made of plastic. This helps a woman while traveling, camping or in the car away from facilities - it is modest and convenient and basically is just a clever little thingie that let's us pee wherever we want to.
He: I am stunned.
Me: Now we are even.
Seriously, it is a darned clever little do-hickey. Any woman reading this will probably remember at least 5 occasions where she would have gladly used this sort of thing. More info than you ever need to know can be found at http://www.whizaway.com/
He: (in discussing a friend's new ranch property) There have been sightings of wolves, cougars, foxes and of course rattlesnakes. The chickens seem to be safe, however.
Me: Does she have them in an enclosure with a roof?
He: No.
Me: Well what is keeping the big critters from just snatching them up?
He: Territory marking.
Me: You mean fences?
He: No, I mean "markings" -- like with dogs who "mark" their territory.
Me: But her dog weighs all of 3 pounds! There is no way he could....
He: He didn't.
(long silence)
Me: Are you suggesting that YOU did?
He: Well, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. Walking around the desert alone at night is something I enjoy. May as well make it useful.
OK so now I have this visual of a childhood friend that is not what I had ever imagined. Man walking the desert asserting himself.
I decided to counter.
Me: Well, that is a great idea. Next time I visit her I'll mark a few trees for her.
He: But....you can't....not a tree. (smug silence)
Me: Sure I can. I have a "thing".
(HUGE PAUSE)
He: (sounding very puzzled and unsure) .....a "thing"?
Me: Yep. I have something I ordered on the web from Europe.
He: I don't think I should know this.
Me: It is called "The Whiz".
He: I am getting sure I should not know this.
Me: No, no..relax..just imagine a flexible funnel made of plastic. This helps a woman while traveling, camping or in the car away from facilities - it is modest and convenient and basically is just a clever little thingie that let's us pee wherever we want to.
He: I am stunned.
Me: Now we are even.
Seriously, it is a darned clever little do-hickey. Any woman reading this will probably remember at least 5 occasions where she would have gladly used this sort of thing. More info than you ever need to know can be found at http://www.whizaway.com/
posted by Mata H at Monday, May 15, 2006
1 Comments:
LOLOLOLOL Mata!! You and I are on a urinary wavelength today, hey?? May just have to check one of those babies out!
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