Monday, May 15, 2006

Laughing at "Territory Marking"

I spoke to a friend in rural Arizona last night, which did my heart good. This is a friend I have known since I was 12, with whom ready laughter is commonplace. He is, however, a very reserved fellow on the surface. For those of you who need a laugh, here is a moment in the phone call that had me howling.

He: (in discussing a friend's new ranch property) There have been sightings of wolves, cougars, foxes and of course rattlesnakes. The chickens seem to be safe, however.

Me: Does she have them in an enclosure with a roof?

He: No.

Me: Well what is keeping the big critters from just snatching them up?

He: Territory marking.

Me: You mean fences?

He: No, I mean "markings" -- like with dogs who "mark" their territory.

Me: But her dog weighs all of 3 pounds! There is no way he could....

He: He didn't.

(long silence)

Me: Are you suggesting that YOU did?

He: Well, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. Walking around the desert alone at night is something I enjoy. May as well make it useful.

OK so now I have this visual of a childhood friend that is not what I had ever imagined. Man walking the desert asserting himself.

I decided to counter.

Me: Well, that is a great idea. Next time I visit her I'll mark a few trees for her.

He: can't....not a tree.
(smug silence)

Me: Sure I can. I have a "thing".


He: (sounding very puzzled and unsure) .....a "thing"?

Me: Yep. I have something I ordered on the web from Europe.

He: I don't think I should know this.

Me: It is called
"The Whiz".

He: I am getting sure I should not know this.

Me: No, no..relax..just imagine a flexible funnel made of plastic. This helps a woman while traveling, camping or in the car away from facilities - it is modest and convenient and basically is just a clever little thingie that let's us pee wherever we want to.

He: I am stunned.

Me: Now we are even.

Seriously, it is a darned clever little do-hickey. Any woman reading this will probably remember at least 5 occasions where she would have gladly used this sort of thing. More info than you ever need to know can be found at


Blogger samtzmom said...

LOLOLOLOL Mata!! You and I are on a urinary wavelength today, hey?? May just have to check one of those babies out!

12:23 PM  

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