Passing on the Wounds
I've been around this world a bit. I've seen things, experienced things. And it is starting to feel to me that the best thing any of us can do for our world (in addition to helping and loving people in immediate peril) is to not pass along our wounds.
I have been thinking and blogging a lot lately about what it means to be broken members of creation, about forgiveness, about acknowledging what we never got in life and not trying to 'stuff up the holes' with what will not make us whole.
Then I look around me and see the same pattern everywhere - people, institutions and governments passing along their fears and hurts and brokenness in their everyday actions. Here is a simple example. My parents were American Depression Era kids. Those of you from such families know what comes next -- the house was full of "stuff". If one was good, six were better. They lived their lives unconsciously fending of a trauma from the past.
They felt nervous that I might not live my life with the same cushioning. Check my lower cabinet doors for the supply of spare lightbulbs and batteries. It could light the neighborhood. I get to fend off their trauma and make it my own. If I had been blessed with children, they would have probably stored up some cupboards of their own. And so it goes. Wound -- pass along -- pass along -- pass along.
Individuals, cultures, nations....wound, pass along, pass along, pass along.
There was a newlywed woman who was making a roast for her husband. Before putting it in the roasting pan she cut off both ends. Her husband asked why. "Because that is how Mom makes it," said the bride. But, curious herself, she called her own mother -- only to hear that the reason her mother cuts the ends off roasts is because that is "what Gramma did." The evening wears on, and the newlywed calls her Gramma and asks why all the women in the family cut the ends off the roasts. Her Gramma says - "I don't know why *you* do, honey, but I cut the ends off my roast because my pan is too small."
We get in these ruts spiritually -- politically -- emotionally. We get in ruts about who we fear, who is wrong. We miss out on loving people. We make wars over such things. We kill children over such things. We die ourselves over such things. People starve and suffer because of such things.
Imagine if we could stop living and inflicting from the wounded places. Imagine if we could start living from the health in us, the best parts of what we believe in us.
Just imagine.
I have been thinking and blogging a lot lately about what it means to be broken members of creation, about forgiveness, about acknowledging what we never got in life and not trying to 'stuff up the holes' with what will not make us whole.
Then I look around me and see the same pattern everywhere - people, institutions and governments passing along their fears and hurts and brokenness in their everyday actions. Here is a simple example. My parents were American Depression Era kids. Those of you from such families know what comes next -- the house was full of "stuff". If one was good, six were better. They lived their lives unconsciously fending of a trauma from the past.
They felt nervous that I might not live my life with the same cushioning. Check my lower cabinet doors for the supply of spare lightbulbs and batteries. It could light the neighborhood. I get to fend off their trauma and make it my own. If I had been blessed with children, they would have probably stored up some cupboards of their own. And so it goes. Wound -- pass along -- pass along -- pass along.
Individuals, cultures, nations....wound, pass along, pass along, pass along.
There was a newlywed woman who was making a roast for her husband. Before putting it in the roasting pan she cut off both ends. Her husband asked why. "Because that is how Mom makes it," said the bride. But, curious herself, she called her own mother -- only to hear that the reason her mother cuts the ends off roasts is because that is "what Gramma did." The evening wears on, and the newlywed calls her Gramma and asks why all the women in the family cut the ends off the roasts. Her Gramma says - "I don't know why *you* do, honey, but I cut the ends off my roast because my pan is too small."
We get in these ruts spiritually -- politically -- emotionally. We get in ruts about who we fear, who is wrong. We miss out on loving people. We make wars over such things. We kill children over such things. We die ourselves over such things. People starve and suffer because of such things.
Imagine if we could stop living and inflicting from the wounded places. Imagine if we could start living from the health in us, the best parts of what we believe in us.
Just imagine.
posted by Mata H at Tuesday, August 15, 2006
1 Comments:
What a wonderful, insightful post Mata. Yes indeed, we "do" things the way we do because we think there is no other way, or because that's just the way it's always been done. What if indeed... what if....
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