My blogging has been pretty spare lately -- it is because I have been ill. It started as a wicked cold, one that left me weak as a kitten. It became a cold that kept improving and then morphing into something else. I have had very little energy. Then it started to assault my lungs. About 20 years ago, when I lived in Denver, I developed allergic asthma. This basically departed when I moved east, except for some very low level occurances during cold or pollen season. Well, two days ago at the doctor's office when she immediately hooked me up to some crisis machine that would spray my lungs with medicine, I realized that my asthma was indeed back.
I could barely walk without great, heaving, wheezing gasps for air. Sleep was constantly interrupted with marathon gasping coughs and the struggle to merely breathe. Climbing up the single flight of stairs to my apatment took over 5 minutes, with me having to stop and cough and gasp away until the lung spasms stopped. I have had a friend buy my groceries as I could not manage that. I have tried to carry out the details of my life in spite of all this until this week, when I had to just admit that this illness had gotten the better of me, and that the first round of prescriptions from my conservative doctor had not worked.
As of yesterday afternoon I have been given some severe medicine for the lungs, and I should start seeing even more of an improvement by tomorrow. One of the six prescriptions I am taking is for a steroid that, in 6 days, will work miracles on asthma. After one day I am almost 1/3 better.
I don't like being sick. I don't like admitting that I am unable to do simple things. I do not like this at all. I know that I have had one hell of a year -- including the illness and death of my father, legal issues around any shred of inheritance, decisions to relocate, and on and on ...and my position on the famed "Stress Index" has been fairly stratospheric. I waved "bye bye" to the flying seagulls months ago during my stress ascent. It is expected that when one is in this position at some point the body will just shut the hell down and big signs saying "TILT" will appear in ones eyeballs as one heads, spinning and crashing, for earth.
A severe asthmatic episode is scary. It is like a cross between drowning and suffocating. So I am going to do what I can do, and take all these meds and see the doc again next week, and be a generally fine and fabulously obedient patient, but I am going to do something else that is hard for me because it feels so selfish. If you are comfortable doing so, I will ask for your prayers. Thank you, oh dear ones I have never met. I will be OK. That I know. I pray for a speedy move to wellness. It has been a while that I have been in the downward health spiral now. Thanks for the kindness of your listening.