Sunday, July 29, 2007

The saga

Ah yes, dear readers, the saga of my search for a hom3e has taken yet another twisty turn. Let me summarize:

1. Last November I began looking for a house to buy. I was checking 4 or 5 small towns in western Massachusetts. I wanted a house with everything available on the main level, no basement seepage, garage or room to build one, room for washer/dryer on main level, 3 bedrooms, good storage.

2. In Dec I found "The House" . It had two large optional land units that I did not bid on, did not want. Someone else bid on the house and the optional land. Poof. My bid gone.

3. I looked at house after house after house etc. (as you well know)Months later the For Sale sign was still not off "The House". The Dec. deal had fallen through, but they had repackaged the deal as house with LOTS of pricey land included in one price.

4. Several weeks ago they called asking if we were still interested. They ended up with one offer on the land and my new offer on the house. Yahoooo!!!

5. Retract Yahooo. the contractor buying the land wants added land from my house parcel which is configured in such a way as to make the house much less attractive. I withdraw bid for house of my dreams.

6. The next weekend I found another house!!! It is lovely -- and if teh bid goes through I'll tell you about it. But until then am waiting on pins and needles.

I just keep getting anxious and then singing "I surrender all..I surrender all.." as that is all that is keeping me from breaking out in hives. This entire process is about letting go for me -- letting go of my eagerness to relocate. Letting go of Mom's antiques. Letting go of thinking I have any finite control over the outcomes.

So I am just asking God to house me and surrendering.

Over and over and over again.

And being thankful.

Over and over and over again.

I figure if I keep doing it, I'll get it right.


Blogger Jayne said...

And it will all turn out just right Mata... and you WILL be where you are meant to be. I surrender with you... :c) Hang tight! HUGS to you!

6:21 AM  
Blogger beth said...

At some point in time, Mata, it will be fascinating to look back and see how the twisty road that leads you "home" was, in fact, with a purpose. But I know you take little solace in that now!

Hang in there, keep looking, and surrendering, and find out what it is God wants to show you in the waiting.

9:36 AM  
Blogger Kerstin said...

Mata, did you look at the link that I emailed you about a week ago? Maybe it is not at all what you are looking for but I took some more photos (more still to come, haven't had the time yet to do all the interior) which you can view here

Just in case! And good luck with your offer!

Take care,

9:41 AM  
Blogger Kerstin said...

P.S. Well that link didn't work, so here it is again spelled out:

Kerstin :)

9:43 AM  
Blogger toujoursdan said...

I know you'll land on your feet. Once you are in that wonderful new home all these frustrations will be a thing of the past!

2:20 PM  
Anonymous laurie said...

"moving back to a place I have not lived since I was 19...and so on."

I did this recently, except I was 23 when I left. It's freaking me out a little...I had no idea how much it would do that. I was such a different person when I lived there before - so much less sure of myself, so unhappy. Now that I'm driving the same roads, seeing sights that are almost but not quite the same - different enough to jar me in a very uncomfortable way - I feel myself unsettling.

I know why I'm here now. It's a very different, very valuable reason. it's to set some things to rights that I couldn't handle appropriately back then. It's to close some doors more gently that either slammed or were left ajar. It's the right thing. But I know it for its temporary nature. I know it for its purpose.

I'll be meanwhile trying to surrender. Thanks for the reminder.

10:43 PM  

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