Monday, July 12, 2010

summer heat

It has been blazing in New England for the past week -- and the air has been thick with humidity. And everywhere you go, you hear the same absurd phrase. "It isn't the heat so much -- it's the hu-mid-i-ty!".

No. It is the heat AND the humidity.

The air is slice-able, but it is just too damned hot to slice.

Even my dog races to "do her business" and scuttle back inside. As far as Zoe is concerned, outside is for brief forays to fertilize my lawn. Period.

I have no idea how people survive the tropics, or how anyone survives without air conditioning in heat waves like this. I am a coward. I do not leap forth into the heat ready to work up a good sweat. I stay inside and drink vast amounts of iced tea and iced coffee and fruit juice.

Hydrate. Hydrate. It is a mantra with me.

I conserve my electricity, making sure I shut off lights, switch off rechargers, etc. But I blast my A/c unapologetically. I am an asthmatic. There actually is good reason, excellent reason, in fact, for me to condition my air and to avoid sweaty exertion in hot weather. But I think sometimes even without the respiratory issues, I'd still want my air chilly.

This is what post menopausal women want -- the utter absence of anything that even vaguely resembles the dreaded hot flash -- which is more that hot and worse than a flash -- someone should have named them the 'flesh soaking searingly hot red-faced spasms'.

If men could get hot flashes, someone would have invented an 8 oz portable whole body air conditioner by now. Until then --

Please pass the orange/pineapple/mango/peach juice please. And don't skimp on the ice!

2 Comments:

Blogger Vérité Parlant is Nordette Adams said...

I managed to keep my cool today on FB as a woman did not seem to see how this Williams letter was satire nor could she see why some of the signs at Tea Party rallies are classified as "racist."

I've decided from now on to respond to insults of all stripes, ignorance in all colors, and perceived insults and ignorance with "Interesting" or with silence and to breathe deeply as I count to 100 b/c 10 just isn't long enough.

1:11 AM  
Anonymous Gail Connick said...

Ahhhh~ The humidity, and when combined with the prickly heat of summer, I'm sure that vexation will be inevitable. But thankfully, we got our A/C unit fixed, so all we got to do is to relax with a glass of cold lemonade while swimming in the pool.

7:39 AM  

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