Friday, May 04, 2007

Mother's Day: Not Everyone Celebrates

First, congratulations to all those Moms out there and all those children of Moms out there who have relationships that can be actively and lovingly celebrated. I hope you all have a full-tilt heaping of joy on that day, just over a week from now. I honestly do.

My Mom has been dead for 12 years; and if she were alive I would be full-tilting it with her. She and I had become, in her later years, dearest friends and confidants. I miss her like fire. So when Mother's Day rolls around I try to do something that I know she liked, or that we liked doing together. I also had uterine cancer surgery at age 32, 8 months after my divorce. Because of that, I was never able to become a mother -- something I had very much wanted to do. I did not want to start out as a single mother, so adoption was not an option, especially since I have never remarried.

So, on Mother's Day I'll be fine, just a bit more pensive and thoughtful than I would be otherwise.

But there are lots of folks around who aren't that lucky. There are people for whom Mother's Day is an open wound. There are people whose Mother's have hurt them, abused them, abandoned them. There are women who have lost children they loved deeply, or who are estranged from their children. There are women who gave children up for adoption and always wonder about them. There are any number of situations that women and children find ourselves in that are not the "Hallmark norm". To all of those people I offer my heartfelt prayer for comfort and consolation.

During this week I'm sure I'll be chatting here about my Mom, but I didn't want to ignore the fact that not everyone was blessed with a loving relationship between Mother and child. Fortunately, I was -- because on Father's Day I get to sit on the "unHallmark" side of the fence.


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